IRIS has released a new pen.

Oh, big deal, you might be thinking to yourself. Just what the world needs — another pen! But I’m telling you, if you were Maxwell Smart, you’d be mightily interested, because this is no ordinary pen. This is a scanning pen — the kind that you can easily hide in your sleeve. Then when you go to visit the headquarters of some conniving organization that plans to take over the world and the chief meanie excuses himself or herself to get you a cup of tea or maybe a glass of water, you can pull out your IRISPen and do some quick scanning of whatever ultra-secret plans you find on his or her desk. And once again, the world will be saved only through your unsung efforts.

Of course, in the demo I saw at CES, the pen was attached to a computer via a USB cable. So you’ll have to hide one of those up your sleeve too.

But here’s how it works. The pen digitizes information contained in paper documents. You simply run its tip along the line of text you want scanned. The text — letters, number, symbols — shows up on the screen at the cursor position in whatever application you’re using.

The newest version of the pen, IRISPen 6, has enhancements, including a wizard for creating different user profiles, a redesigned interface and a greatly expanded list of languages that it recognizes.

It comes in three models, the Express, the Executive and the Translator, each priced differently and intended for a different user. And if time is tight, relax! This device will recognize up to 3.15 inches per second, plenty fast when it comes to saving the world.

Are you picky about your keyboard? I’m the type of user who needs a keyboard that *clicks*. If it doesn’t *click*, the tiny brains in my finger tips don’t believe they’ve done their job, and the brains in my eyeballs have to go to the page to see what I’ve actually typed. Also, don’t be moving the Del key on me. You do that and your keyboard becomes a dust-catcher in my closet.

But aside from that, I’m happy.

Or at least I was until I saw the Mother-of-All-Keyboards at CES.

It won’t be available from resellers until March, but you’re getting the word now because I like you. It’s called the Optimus Maximus keyboard and you can only buy it if you speak Latin. No, that’s not true. You can only buy it if you are willing to spend $1,500.

That’s right. That new car,. The Nano, from Tata Motors in India is priced at only $1,000 more than this keyboard, which comes from Art Lebedev Studio in Moscow, Russia.

Now, I know that everybody in Russia is rolling in the dough. You just have to look at the luxurious hats Russians wear to realize that. But this keyboard is truly for the Paris Hiltons of the world. Or it would be if only Paris Hilton were more of a geek.

So why is this keyboard so pricey? Because every single key on it is a stand-alone display. Imagine a tiny monitor that shows exactly what function the key is dedicated to. Looking for a way to integrate a little Cyrillic or Ancient Greek into your everyday blogging? Dedicate some of those keys to the more obscure layouts you need to use. That also includes HTML code, math functions, images — anything you can configure in a 48×48 pixel space through the keyboard’s software.

It runs on Windows XP and Vista. If you’re a Mac user, don’t feel left out. It’ll run with Mac OS X 10.4.8 or higher. Just needs a USB port to plug in.

I was going to take my family on a special vacation this year. But maybe those funds will have to be diverted to office supplies instead… Sorry, son.

Kids with unique challenges have been on my mind lately. In the course of doing research for an article, I’ve discovered a bunch of products that cater to their special computing needs. (Many of these things are just plain cool too.)

For instance, did you know that you can turn any standard monitor — desktop or notebook — into a touch interactive screen? Keytec, which developed the technology I’m familiar with, MagicTouch, claims the touch screen can be installed and removed easily without opening the computer case to install a board.

It’s activated by touch with almost anything — a finger or stylus, even a gloved hand. It can be used concurrently with your mouse, and it’s available for USB or serial port interface. Drivers are available for versions of Windows from Vista through ME, as well as NT, and Linux and Mac 9 and 10. Plus, the screen helps reduce that static electricity emanating from the monitor. Apparently, it’s easy to move from display to display and can be cleaned easily.

I can think of a user or two — little and big — who could put this thingie to good use.

When is a computer a computer? I am not going to go into a long geeky discussion, so it is safe to carry on reading. Just think about it, most modern cellphones (and I’m not even referring to smartphones) have as much computing power as early Personal Computers.

The smallest computer I have owned was a Palm-OS based PDA watch, which had a 66 MHz Processor, 8 MB RAM and a touchscreen interface.

Of course, the latest generation gaming consoles like the Xbox 360 and Sony Playstation 3 are really powerful computers.

For a different take on a computer, there is an add-on to the GP2X gaming console. The GP2X is a Linux-based GP2X gaming console, and its latest iteration includes a touch screen. It is not really much of a competitor to the Sony PSP or Nintendo DS Lite, but more of a platform to play open source games. You can also listen to music or watch videos on the GP2X, and it comes with an Software Development Kit. The thing which really makes it even more versatile is the “Gp2x Commercial Interface Board Cradle”, basically a cradle which supplies several ports, including four USB ports.

That way you can plug in a USB keyboard, for example the Kensington Comfort Type USB Keyboard, and a mouse and you can call it a computer.

If you’re a presenter, you could maybe learn to love this device.

The Slim Blade Presenter Media Mouse from Kensington combines a mouse with a laser pointer. No more sticking your laser pointer in your coat pocket while you’re up in front of the audience talking, then fumbling around to find it again when you need to highlight something on the big screen. And no more crossing the entire stage just to get back to the mouse so you can click it to move to the next slide in your presentation.

This little gizmo lets you control your digital media from anywhere in the room. Plus, it includes an indicator light so that you’ll know beforehand that it’s time to put in a fresh battery.

There is only one disadvantage I see. You’re going to have to get beyond that major goofball factor of roaming around the room carrying a big, round mouse. That just won’t come across looking as suave as toting a tiny clicker. Progress isn’t always pretty, is it?

Yesterday, I told you I’d let you know about a device that I’m hoping all touchpads will soon offer as standard equipment.

That would be the Synaptics SecurePad, a hardware module that integrates the Synaptics TouchPad with the Validity fingerprint sensor into the design of your notebook computer. No, you won’t find this anywhere in PriceGrabber, because it’s something the vendors that make your laptop will need to design their machines around.

According to Synaptics, here’s how it works:

“SecurePad uses a high frequency Pulsed RF technology that looks beyond the skin surface, past dirt and other contaminates and images the subsurface live layer to capture a fingerprint. By sending radio waves through the finger, and measuring how the signal is changed as it travels to the sensing array, SecurePad synthesizes an image of the fingerprint structure. SecurePad works in conjunction with leading software solutions, which provides a simple way for people to use their fingerprint to secure their hardware and software assets, as well as conveniently provide password replacement.”

The company doesn’t say how much it hurts when those little radio waves pierce the skin surface to get to that subsurface live layer.

At any rate, imagine a day when you no longer have to remember a single login name or password. (I dedicate fully a fifth of my current brain mass to that activity.)

Of course, nothing’s as easy as you think it will be. Once the hardware vendors have bought into the idea of biometrics, the application vendors — including online services — will need to build in the capability to recognize this form of security. And I suppose the most nefarious among us could steal thumbs, like that Tom Cruise character did in Minority Report a few years back.

But other than that, this one’s brilliant. I give it a thumb’s up — I mean, thumb’s down.