I’m afraid the moment I’ve not-so-casually alluded to will finally, almost, nearly arrive in 23 more hours: the moment my stint at ButtonSmasher ends, and with it, possibly even the blog itself. It’s been nice knowing you, dear readers–or at least imagining you, as I more often have, as you read and wondered, “why does this writer wait to make her first post on the last day of the month?” and, “isn’t there some other, more worthwhile torture I could enact on my brain?” Though the likelihood of your existence was never high, I’ve continued to write for you, and for my money, for just one month short of a year now, about games that were sometimes better known to me than the language of Swahili. I think my enthusiasm lit up the place like a dim bulb, in the end, and it failed to impress. I’m sorry to everyone.

Well, amidst any tearful departure, there’s always a craving for some good news. My Xbox 360 has mysteriously regained its ability to work, just in time for me to have no further posts to write. And I can’t use it to play Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon, an original Xbox port of a swell throwback/update to the PC adventure genre, that, true to form, comes full of sass and pith and novel goings-on. And just look at that box art, an artistic abomination only a child of the 80’s could love. All is as it should be, I am in my happy place. Anyone want a 360 that can never die?

Samba de Amigo finally hits the Wii–geez, that only took as long as a Spanish holiday, or the saying I’m actually looking for. I’m not even too late on this one either, as it’s been only 3 days or so since the release; for once, the game should still be available. Official maraca mods not on the horizon.

Another one hot off the presses is Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility, which hadn’t been raking in the best rankings pre-release, but I’m betting it’s not the shovel-full that is a typical Wii game, either. I love Harvest Moon; I’ll always love its quaint, Chibi-headed painting of a simple country life, surrounded by good-hearted folk and too-cute, smell-less, immortal animals, told over and over with as few modifcations as possible. Harvest Moon is one of the warmest gaming fuzzies imaginable and I’ll maim any reviewer who says otherwise.

What else… well, whatever Myth Makers: Orbs of Doom might be besides a game, ‘orbs’ and ‘doom’ figure prominently in the title and that’s reason enough for me to recommend it. Final lesson: the less time and resources spent marketing, the more extravagantly stupid the title, means the more chance the game might actually be good.

I don’t really know what else is new and shaking in this industry, so the time is probably ripe that I left it. Or at least took a break.

See you somewhere on the flipside, perhaps. Keep on your happy button-smashing.

Though the diminutive hero has long been the posterchild for adorable RPG sidekicks and, consequently, heaps upon heaps of merchandise, the latest outing of the fluffy yellow steed is still a toughie. Of the same stock as the barely-graphical DOS games of yore, Diablo, and the unrelated-but-similar Mystery Dungeon titles, Final Fantasy Fables: Chocobo’s Dungeon has, despite a surtitle fit for a bedtime story, the pedigree for pain.

Even with a side venture like this, and one that embraces the younger set, Square Enix still spins a thick and colourful yarn. The Learning Dungeon introduces Cid’s ongoing quest for an artifact modestly called Timeless Power, and from that point on, Chocobo’s Dungeon centres on primordial themes: once you arrive in the town of Lostime, where the tolling of a clocktower bell erases people’s memories, the value of memories becomes the central subject. The 20 main dungeons take players into psycho-analytical territory–quite literally, as using some manner of psycho-active brooch, you teleport into forgetful folks’ heads to restore their lost knowledge. It’s in these dungeons that players will meet several unhappy endings without the proper prudence, and an ample stock of escape items.

Here we have turn-based adventure that doesn’t operate on random encounters, but rather, where your every action sees the enemy take one of their own. In the randomly-generated dungeons, you’ll not only find obvious treasure (and less obvious traps) as you move along, but you’ll cause any enemies on your floor, whether onscreen or not, to take their turns–and if you’re close enough, this might mean a smack in the backside. Yeah, you’ll be minding your own business, eating some of Gysahl Greens (because Chocobo gets hungry, too) and equipping your newest Saddle, cause you figure no one is around–when, way off in the distance, a Flying Eye or Turtle Shade wakes up and promptly seeks you out for Wing Night. In the towns, you’re a free-range Chocobo, permitted to shop, talk, bank, and walk as you please. No one is counting your moves out there.

The production values on this little number are still Square Enix values, and as such, all kinds of talent went into the audio-visual components. Resounding performances of Final Fantasy pieces, from #1’s town theme to Setzer’s theme from VI, rear their orchestrated heads with regularity, and the super-emotive voice acting is perfectly pro. The FMV sequences have all the fluidity and detail possible on the Wii–which still means a lot of flowing hair and flawless complexions–and the in-game models are all crisp, inspired, and/or cute. Only downside is the jaggedness around the edges and some dullness in the colour palette.

I <3 Chocobo and you should too.

While almost completely free of urban convenience and amenities, the untamed paradise of my last week’s vacation wouldn’t have been complete without the relic of public recreation known as the video arcade. I think the town must have realized, when it contracted the beach-side lot (or whatever it is that towns do) to Subway and the adjacent funhouse, that they could use the type of establishment that so few developed areas have anymore to draw even more people out there. They certainly picked the good games you don’t find elsewhere–one of which is Ghost Squad.

Playing Ghost Squad in the arcade jogged fond memories of the Wii version. At under $30, Ghost Squad Wii can be yours to own (and beat) on the cheap compared to any bastard coin-sucker. It’s not an exact replica–the Wiimote doesn’t have that ratta-tat-tat that arcade assault rifles do so well (nor any rumble at all, really, as you’re likely expected to use a gun attachment), and the visuals are less lustrous high-res and more budget-title. But the content remains the same, with a made-up military squad out to thwart those durn terrorists in one of several missions. Choice branches split and re-split the route through each level, and lead you to pleasantly varied mission objectives that you don’t typically encounter in a light-gun game. For example, at one juncture, you might opt to save the hostages, smoke the place out with grenades, or just burst in with barrels blazing. Your choice brings new controls (like mashing to release handcuffs) and new rules (like don’t shoot the hostages, duh) into play, so you have to be thinking on your feet. Plus, for the Wii version, the designers have concocted some of the most laughable costumes imaginable–a must-see.

Today we cover the official digital facsimile of the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games, the aptly-entitled Beijing Olympics 2008 from SEGA. Related in name and make only to a certain sports-themed mascot mash-up, this outing is the full-blooded trustee in preserving the memory of the athletes and events of the world’s largest amateur sports meet–a lot of responsibility. But is it a lot of fun?

From the sounds of the more favorable reviews–which I will trust, because I like their sounds more–the game harkens back to Decathlete on Sega Saturn, which was as fine an exercise in button-mashing as was ever conceived. This is the control scheme that best simulates (or simulates as closely as is possible with a manually-operated input device) the act of running, peddling, swimming, or hurdle-hopping your legs off. Repetitive strain injuries to your finger muscles will put you in the shoes of any Olympian–but if you can withstand the current crop of Guitar Hero-like dexterity drills, this should be cake. While the older game featured–obviously–a mere ten events and few more athletes, things have come a long way since 1996: of the 30+ events in Beijing Olympics 2008, only a few are duds, depending who you want to believe (1Up.com in my case). And, while online play is declared lag-fully flawed, it’s just as in the real Olympics–there are those pendulous, precious metallic incentives for solo play. For some, such a simulation might be better left to the Wiimote-waggling of Mario and Sonic–but for those with a taste for real venues and real personalities, not to mention all other penchants for realism, this may be the way to go.

If you’re a gamer bound to leave the worlds projected by a tube onto glass for the real deal later this year, you’ll surely have some conflicted feelings. Here, let me explain my reasoning: Megaman 9 comes out in Japan in September. I think that’s sufficient reason to want to lug your Wii far and wide… but what about if your destination lacks a television? And is it really worth playing away your vacation when the real world has so much left to offer?

Here we go: Intec’s 7″ Portable Gaming Screen for Wii. A screen small enough to occupy air volume in the smallest of cars during the longest of travel times, enabling you to happily play over the long, dull stretches of unspoiled countryside. While I may drip sarcasm, I loved bringing my Sega Game Gear (and stealing my brother’s Game Boy) in the family car, playing before and after the deal was done… it holds a large place in my memory of all my happiest trips. Games made it so I wasn’t one of those ‘are-we-there-yet?’ kids, nor would I be one of those post-vacation depressives–I just turned on some Sonic, and wherever I was, there he’d be.

Playstation One had a similar screen, but it lacked anything but RPGs and they’re just not car material. One of these babies and a couple battery packs, and you’re set to see the worlds through the LCD looking-glass until you get wherever you’re going.

I guess I should say, (D)C (D)C! Get it? “Si si”? Spanish? It was on Dreamcast first in 2000… yeah neeevermind it played out a lot better in my head.

Anyway, the only maraca-shaking game I can name has, over all these years, sustained the high esteem of those who played it, and garnered envious stares from those who missed it. It’s slated to be released on the Wii next month I believe, fully compatible with the existing motion sensing devices for that system (score!), but for anyone who is tired of dangling in the shifting limbo of release dates, the Dreamcast version is actually not so hard to come by. While you’ll need to procure the maracas separately, the original version of the game is the one that has already been acclaimed as disarming rhythmic delirium with a soundtrack like no other. It remains to be seen how the maraca behaviour at high, medium, and low levels will be replicated with the Wii remote and nunchuk… but you decide! Take your pick! And amigo, play that samba all summer long.

Gamers love their physics, at least from an observational and sometimes-participatory standpoint, and they love hair-raising tests of technical precision. In turn, I would postulate that a majority loved the schoolyard game of marbles–I know I did. When it comes to the opalescent gleam and vast nomenclature of my favourite fad, I’ve been known to ramble–which is an anagram of marble, by the way. I can think of few applications of my free time that brought me more satisfaction than that winner-take-all exercise in hand-eye coordination, held in trenches dusty and mud-caked alike, the dirt carved by the scooting orbs on their way into the coveted pot.

So now that several federal agencies are ready to certify me, here’s a charming game that doesn’t replicate the dirty game of marbles, but uses them very effectively in the cascading, tilting-world mode. Kororinpa: Marble Mania by Hudson has marbles shaped like darling animals, making the selfsame noises, and stages modeled after pastries set to accordion music. It’s desperately cute until your spherical protegé falls out of your Wiimote-driven control and into the void, at which point it can be despairingly hard. For Monkey Ball veterans it may be small potatoes, but with several unlockables throughout a great variety of stages, Kororinpa is a sweet take on the classic formula.

I only use the air-quotes facetiously in my title, because Boom Blox truly does proffer hours of anger-managing fun. The modes of play in this surprising Steven Spielberg-EA joint project cover a cavalcade of building-block applications, such as the less rage-venting, Jenga-style game of Dismantle, and similarly, Plumbing, where obstructions in a point-laden block’s fall must be precisely unobstructed. But if up til now you have been living on the planet Earth, and thus, have ample unresolved tension in your life, taking a Wiimote in hand and slinging a bowling ball at a stack of inert, brightly-colored blocks with collateral damage to happy smiling animals truly gets the lead out. The siege-like Throwing modes, including a level modeled after the game Warlords (which I love), will provide serious therapy for you and your three closest friends/enemies. It’s harmless demolition with a peppy, quality aesthetic (and since you’re repeating more or less the same actions for extended periods, stuff like good music and interesting backdrops becomes pretty important.)

I really recommend Boom Blox for a good time.

Although the lay-gamer would probably associate Wii Fit with that girly yoga stuff, it seems Nintendo’s at-home fitness software knows how to keep us in shape long before it’s out of the box. Since I got off work on the 21st, I’ve had to keep moving further down the trail of “SOLD OUT” signs that now undoubtedly stretches from the Rockies to the Gulf of Mexico. The game, using the included, pressure-sensitive Balance Board, surely offers a sport to the tastes of any region–be it the old favourite of my arcade days, Downhill Slalom skiing, finally made possible at home by the scale beneath each of your feet, or Soccer goal-tending, which tracks your head position as you attempt to contact a ball with it. I don’t know how well the motion-tracking functions, but the expert review suggests well. If the people who can play these sports year-round would only kindly ship me one of their copies, I might know for sure!

Of course, if, to avoid hours of fruitless searching, you turn around to face a computer, you’ll find Wii Fit is available in abundance from retailers on PriceGrabber. Close to the MSRP, to boot, which thanks to the likes of eBay is increasingly rare. So, as the horrendous diet ads go, what are you ‘weighting’ for? Wii Fit takes weights up to 300 lbs.!

… if only you had some Points! The Wii Channels are getting up-to-speed now, with quality new releases appearing in copious amounts every Monday thanks to Wiiware. Whether they re-imagined their online model or planned it from the beginning, Nintendo is finally offering something for the person who owns everything (good) on the Virtual Console–formerly the only venue for spending the Points. It promises to be a good summer for Wii owners if they take advantage of this newest step, as Wii trepidatiously learns to walk the online… you know, Johnny Cash? No? … nope not funny at all.

But I can assure you, for example, that the popularity of Lost Winds is well-founded. With such seamless Wii remote-integration that the game is only ever going to appear on the Wii, it’s the best known reason to buy a Wii Points card. This post might well have tried to sell you that game, if only that were possible; but fret not, Lost Winds and so much more can be yours with a Wii Points card!

… are you STILL reading?! Why haven’t you clicked it yet?!