Batman is flying through the house, trying to “rescue” the kitten, who just wants to escape under a bed — or anyplace out of range of his grabby little bat gloves. I think it’s time for this six-year-old to get into his bath, without a mask on. We must be close to Halloween, because bags of candy are getting stashed in hidden storage places, and suddenly, orange is the preferred color. That, plus the usual play attire — a naked body — prefers to be dressed up like, well, Batman.

So in light of the coming month, here are a few ghoulish gadgets that might help make this the spookiest October 31st of your adult life…

This six-foot witch cackles a spell and swivels her hips like she’s got something truly nasty cooking.

Here’s a ghost with flashing eye sockets, skeletal hands, and a nylon cloak that will float in the breezes outside your front door.

Now, I’m not much into inflatables, like giant Santa train globes, because I think they tend to look cheesy. Plus, they really suck up the power at a time when that’s not what we should be doing. But not everybody feels that way, so here’s a rather intimidating object you might like to use in decorating your front yard (or dining room table, if it’s large enough!) — an eight-foot red and black inflatable spider. Like the ghost, this creepy critter’s eyes flash. But somehow, when you’re talking eight feet worth of spider, flashing eyeballs is really just icing on the cake, no?

And finally, a six-foot realistic collapsible coffin. (Vampire not included.)

This one may be of special interest particularly for those of you with six-year-olds of your own: “Son, if you don’t get into that bath right now, I’m going to have to bring out the you-know-what and put you-know-who inside of it!” And after all, isn’t that what the major holidays of the coming three months are about — keeping the kids in line?